Without trying to besmirch the good name and character of your son, whom I have never met, nor that of his fiance', I would observe that the steady decline in morals over the years has led our society to a situation where the implied "2ndeffort" normally occurs either in the cab on the way home from the pub etc or perhaps in a dark alley behind a nightclub.

I can deduce from your membership of this site and of your great desire to see the mighty blue boys triumph over the pathetic listless 'filth', that you are indeed a man of great taste, distinction and virtue. These traits have no doubt been passed on to your son. This being the case, I am sure that the relevant 'virtue' is not in question. Indeed I am quite ashamed and apologise in advance for even raising the issue.

With virtue well established, can I suggest to your son that on the night in question, his 2ndeffort is of the greatest importance.

A "friend" of mine once told me of a virtuous wedding celebration that ended in an expensive hotel with his beautiful bride, only for the combined effects of a Doz VB's, 7 bundy's, a couple of bourbons, a night of dancing and a day of having to resist from throttling an annoying bloody photographer to sabotage his amourous plans. Without delving into the anatomical description, lets just suggest that the only thing raised on his personage was the blood alcohol level. Quite a disappointment for all concerned and certainly a waste of considerable expensive lingerie etc

Ashamed by his poor performance, our "friend" resolved to make things right with his 2ndeffort, so after a very deep sleep and a bit of convincing in the morning, all was put rightt in the world. All parties to the liaison were extremely satisfied with the outcome with the possible exception of the hotel housekeeping staff who had schedule to remake the room at 10:00 am