Ok, here you go WBY.
Kick-Out Act 2005 (Vic)
1. This Act only refers to Carlton Football Club and
a) for the purposes of s4 and s6 players that can kick 60m or more
b) for the purposes of s5 and s7 players that are designated by Denis Pagan as "smalls".
2. A pre-ordained position shall be designated at each kick-in, players shall know by the number of fingers held up by the player taking the kick-in. In the event that players cannot see the fingers, players shall either
a) Pass the message downfield using fingers or
b) The runner shall use a different coloured HAT to designate the place where the ball shall be kicked in.
3. The designated landing zone (LZ) will move 10m either side after the first LZ is used.
4. Whomever fails to kick the ball to the designated LZ shall be deemed to have committed an offence.
5. Whomever is classified as being a "small" and fails to run front and square to the kick-in or who over-commits numbers to the contest without a reasonable excuse, shall be deemed to have committed an offence.
6. Elements of the offence in s4:
Actus Reus - failing to kick the ball to the designated LZ
Mens Rea - absolute liability, no reasonable excuse
7. Elements of the offence in s5:
Actus Reus - failing to be front and square at the spillage, overcrowding the contest by drawing opponent into contest.
Mens Rea - Reasonable excuse, defendant must negative prosecution case on the balance of probabilities
8. This Act shall be enacted as at 14 June 2005 and has been given the Paganic Assent.
9. Penalties and Sentencing:
a) Whomever is convicted under s4 and s6 shall be forced to re-learn the team rules regarding kick-outs and forced to take an exam under closed supervision with Simon Wiggins as the invigilator. Pass rate is 100%. Prior history shall not mitigate sentence. This is a mandatory sentence.
b) Whomever is convicted under s5 and s7 shall be forced to practise crumbing front and square at training, shall be forced to watch videos or Scott Camporeale and other Carlton midfielders receiving cheap kicks and not getting front and square. They will also watch videos of the great Mosquito Fleet of the 1970's and learn how to play the role of crumber. An exam shall be held also under the invigilation of Simon Wiggins. Pass rate is 75%.
_________________ "A good composer does not initiate. He steals."
- Igor Stravinsky
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