They have always been our bitches.
Back in 68 when their fried-egg eyed full-forward wept because Loftsy held him and the free was never paid - oh how the bummers have always been the best excuses club in the league!

They and Sheeds were a perfect fit. Wanker to knob. Grease to tool! I hate clubs but the bummers just make me vomit a deep green bile best served to the souls of mass murderes.

In the back to back years guess what - Sheeds and the baby bummers complained we would never have won back to back if only they could have made the G.F. Yeah right, good thinking. But salavia driven Sheeds has always been good at that. Standing there like a withered Napolean, his hand down his pants rather than in his waistcoat, gripping his tired leather footballs for all his worth as he goes on and on about the intricate unravellinggs of all possible could have beens.

So through the years its always been on between these two clubs, right up to 99 when we dacked them so bad even a flag the next year didn't make up for it. Dacked them so bad they stood in the school yard, red pants around warty ankles weeping tears of what ifs to a world that does not give a gnat's @#$%&!!

So people can sprout this game does not matter.

They can label it the Gibbs cup or what the @#$%&! ever but I hate the stinking pile of black and red shits.

I want to walk out the gate this weekend smiling broader than a Sheedy excuse, I want to dack them so bad they stand in the middle of the M.C.G. all winter and summer screaming for their good old days, their days of Alec @#$%&! flower Eppis, their days of Elbows and Knees Merrit, their days of walnut head Wallace and flying flem Watson!

I want to smash them. To begin the ressurection next year with the demolision this year of the hated foe. I want the world to see the crappy blues have been replaced by the crash landed, sterile, fairy floss headed bummers!

Go Bluebaggers. Carlton by 100 points!

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This type of slight is alien in the more cultured part of the world - Walsh. Its up there with mad dogs, Englishmen and the midday sun!

Wanker to knob. Grease to tool

That's the first time I've hear that, and I like it.

I tried to change my feelings towards the Bombers this year, oh how I did, but it was just too hard. Impossible in fact.

I'm looking forward to Saturday.

my own inventions - despite what Synners might think, I do have my moments though of course it is probably politically incorrect to desire a win, Jesus i'd love to absolutely smash them this weekend.

Imagine the press, Imagine having to replace the blues as the league's crappiest team! I cannot think of anything that would hurt the bummers more or make me happier (well actually lots of things would make me happier - sex, the lad kicking a dozen, mary scoring in soccer, sex, and so forth......did i mention sex?)

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This type of slight is alien in the more cultured part of the world - Walsh. Its up there with mad dogs, Englishmen and the midday sun!

They wear the hated colours of the Nazis…

Their teenage supporters laughed at me on my way out of the Ponsford Stand on GF day 93

Their supporters, through the ages, have ALWAYS been teenagers!! (go figure)

I work with one who predicted they'd win this match 2 months ago

& I F***NG HATE THE WAY THEIR OWN FANS SAY "ESSERDON"


Go Blues!

Collingwood supporters (not my wife of course) are ugly, sort of run into a brick wall, no teeth, lice ridden whispy hair cut twenty years out of date, toothless, stinking ugly


but bummers, bummers are soul ugly!!!!!!

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This type of slight is alien in the more cultured part of the world - Walsh. Its up there with mad dogs, Englishmen and the midday sun!

I think bh once used this great line…"Essendon* - the ManU of the AFL"

Why thank you. Beautifully referenced CK.

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Congratulations CK95

Can ya feel the love?

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Cer 'ch 'n alluog Blues

Yeah they 'would have' won the grand final in 1996 had Plugger not kicked that point.

They 'would have' won the grand final in 1999 if we hadn't beaten them

Their 'dynasty' was cut short by the AFL's cruel equalisation policy that meant that had to get rid of long term SUPERSTARS like Caracella, Blumfield and Heffernan.

And their fans kept buying it!

No, ESSERDON hadn't underachieved, they'd just been unlucky and victimised. Victimised? By their old mate Ron? We all rolled our eyes, but ESSERDON fans lapped it up.

'We're a victim of our success'. What success! 1 flag in 12 years is the success. How many did we win in that time? Exactly the same amount.

Yet we're victims of our own arrogance and salary cap rorting, and they are victims of their success.

Our plights are similar, we're just 4 years ahead of them.

@#$%&! pick 1, just beat the pack of arseclowns on saturday.

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Congratulations CK95

I take it this one was'nt written for the official site?

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Looking forward to seeing our potential realised.

No, but I think Hammer's one might have been

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And so while others miserably pledge themselves to the pursuit of ambition and brief power, I will be stretched out in the shade, singing.

What he said.

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"I had to eat"

Let's just say it will be slightly different

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This type of slight is alien in the more cultured part of the world - Walsh. Its up there with mad dogs, Englishmen and the midday sun!

Now there's an idea, we should email this thread to the club.

The Essendon* Football Club

love your work DB.
The Bummers, I must concur. They shit me too tears.

If that club was on fire..... I'd rather wet myself than pee on them to assist with extinguishing the flames.
Regards Pedro.

It was in 1995, the 1st time we played them and beat them was when i became a true supporter, ohhhh i love beating Essendon*.

Hate them like a fat kid hates Broccoli!!!!

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"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?" Billy Connolly