"And now you know your ABC!"

"And this is Optus Oval, formerly known as Princes Park. To my rear you will see the Robert Heatley and George Harris stands. Robert Heatley played..."

"Guys, we've probably got two almost half A-graders, a handful of B-graders and the rest of you are ....."

"You sure you're Carlton players? You're playing like crap!"

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And so while others miserably pledge themselves to the pursuit of ambition and brief power, I will be stretched out in the shade, singing.

"Do you remember last time we were all here together??
You got me to sack our most talented player because you said he was bad for morale and performances would lift when we got rid of that cancer."

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Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil....... the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.

I thought Anthony Franchina had black hair