WTF he writes an article about bumps and yet finds time to divert from the topic to have another spew about Carlton. I would love to see him at an after game press conference and have Dennis tell him to F@%&#! off as hes not welcome.

Smith would be Fat B*stard!!!

He would look even funnier if you superimposed his head on someone else's body.

Could somebody out there with photoshop do Demetriturd's head on Dr Evil, preferrably with the pinky up to the cnr of the mouth etc. For a bonus elephant stamp you could also do Adrian Anderson as Mini Me!!!!

Could somebody out there with photoshop do Demetriturd's head on Dr Evil, preferrably with the pinky up to the cnr of the mouth etc. For a bonus elephant stamp you could also do Adrian Anderson as Mini Me!!!!

I still reckon the dogs from the Warner Bros. Cartoon - "Chester & Spike"

"Andrew is my hero, because he's so big and strong and I'm so weak & puny."

Schwab studied the 1997 case in which Carlton's champion Greg Williams was suspended for nine matches after making contact with field umpire Andrew Coates. Carlton's then president John Elliott took the decision to his second home, the courts.

He was successful at the Court of Appeal, which overturned the tribunal's decision. But that ruling was thrown out on a 2-1 decision when the AFL fronted the Supreme Court.

Williams pushed Coates away after the siren had ended the Carlton-Essendon game. Coates had moved towards Williams to settle him down after the Brownlow medallist had become incensed at comments made by Essendon*'s Sean Denham. The case went to the tribunal where acting chairman Shane Maguire, in announcing the verdict, said the incident was most serious and that umpires must be considered sacrosanct. At all times.

Schwab applied his points table which assesses incidents by four measures - conduct (intentional, reckless, negligent), impact (severe, high, medium, low), location (in play, behind play), contact (high, to the body).

Schwab reviewed it this way: Reckless, low impact, in play and to the body. Even though the siren had sounded and the game was over Schwab considered the incident in play because the umpire was in dialogue with the player. Fair enough. The subsequent points tally defined the incident as a level one offence which delivers a two-game suspension.

The poor tribunal record of Williams added to the points but an early plea would have reduced the penalty to one match. So that's nine games in 1997, one game in 2005.

While you might consider nine games at the very most the incident deserved, a one-match suspension is manifestly inappropriate and inadequate